HART Research.... A gift for many

Special thanks with lots of Gratitude to all HART Research partners for selflessly being a Participant through HART and offering guidances and messages to clients or others in need, in HART Sessions.

This specific client ( name changed) has extended her gratitude, sharing here for the purpose of - a. How HART a Psychotherapy Spirituality therapy helps b. How working through every message in thought and action helps to make real change c. How removing the defensiveness in ones nature can actually help us make strides in the direction of our soul Journey.

*The Verbatim email Message as sent by the client, name changed for confidentiality*

Wow. Dr. Gupta, thank you (and Gurjot) so much for this. I have played it many times and have been thinking, reflecting and journaling about it a great deal for the past few weeks. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to share a written reflection about it. I appreciate you have many people to help and I don’t expect you to read it, but it felt important that I “say” these things to someone and “get it out”.

“Kia has scattered all her energies”. Yes, this is true. It has been a theme for much of my adult life. I’ve tried to fool myself by saying I’m ‘experiencing what life throws my way’, and I certainly have done some very interesting and exciting jobs, dated or befriended all sorts of people, and had many experiences. But that’s a cloak to hide that I don’t think I truly know what I want, so I just sort of ‘take what I can get/ what’s on offer’. I have gone after a few things I wanted (teaching English overseas, working with animals), and neither was satisfying. The job I’ve done the longest (a lighting technician for concerts and TV, about 4-5 years) I had zero background in. I’ve held 3 different accounting jobs, despite being quite bad with numbers. I worked on an assembly line after graduating from the top university in the country; ran music festivals until I had a ‘nervous break’… things like that.

I have started to focus the last few years on what I am talented at & affords me a work/life balance to do things I want to do. So I’ve been a writer for the last few years and transitioned into digital marketing during the pandemic. I find it fulfilling, although the demands of my regular full time marketing job with my freelance clients can be challenging, but I see where I have been learning the value of just focusing my energies on one thing, rather than trying to “fill my work plate with the buffet of life”.

“Her relationships are also screwing her up… there are some attachments with a previous relationship”. Yeah. This one was hard to hear, but the truth. Immediately I can tell you the relationship in question. I got involved with a man about 4 years ago. It only lasted about 9 months, but I do carry the scars to this day in a way I have never felt before. I realized (AFTER I had let him move in with me, of course) that he was a drug addict and a narcissist, and my attempts to “help” him (i.e. a place to live, a regular job, encouraging him to get clean) only played into his goals. The relationship ended after less than 3 months of cohabitating, but damaged how I felt about myself. I felt stupid. Exploited.  I was ashamed of myself, and felt de-valued in the eyes of my peers (many coworkers, I later found out, thought very poorly of him).

Perhaps significantly, I experienced my first “real” panic attack with him; it was the day he paid his half of the rent, making our cohabitation “official”. My body shook so hard in bed, as though an inner energy was desperately trying to get me away. My legs wouldn’t work so I had to crawl to my bathroom. I spent that night curled in a ball on my