A. I want to always remain Positive
B. Who in this world could ALWAYS remain positive ?
A. No, but I want to.
B. Why?
A. Because remaining Positive feels good and brings to life what we need.
B. When have you been positive for entire day, 24 hours?
A. Whole day? I do not remember.
B. But do you think, when you were positive for whole day, the whole day brought you all the things you needed?
A. Hmmmm. I do not remember that.
B. So there are no guarantees, that if one remains positive whole day, one will get good results whole day or atleast the next day?
A. Hmmm. Maybe
B. So when you cannot remain positive what happens?
A. I do not feel good, as I keep trying to be positive, and when I cannot it frustrates me a lot.
B. Ok, so why do you try so hard to be ALWAYS positive, when the desire to be ALWAYS POSITIVE, actually can cause more frustrations when you are not positive ?
A. Hmmm.
B. What will happen, if you remove the desire to be Positive all the time, what do you think will Life give you then?
A. Maybe all the negative things in Life, as I might have fears, doubts, Anger etc... if I am not positive.
B. So by just having positive thoughts, a person NEVER becomes angry, fearful, etc ?
A. No, I guess it is not so, I still do become fearful , Depressed, angry and frustrated at times.
B. So why do you try so hard to be positive, is it not ok to sometimes allow other emotions to just come and go?
A. Emotions Come and go , meaning ?
B. When one cannot be ALWAYS positive for 24.7, can one be angry 24.7 or fearful 24.7 ? Do you think, when you are extremely angry at something in the morning, in the afternoon you have same intensity of anger? It could be less or more or dissolved right? For example when you cry, feeling sad, do you cry with same intensified emotions for an entire hour, or while crying. Sometimes there are micro min phases where you stop and then again cry a lot, stop for micro second and then again cried.
A. Hmmm. I never observed it that ways. But seems to be true.
B. So when everything changes, nothing is Permanent, how can BEING positive ALWAYS be an achievable goal?
A. 🤔 Hmmm. ,So what should I do ?
B. Just be, drop trying to be something, even Positive all the time... Let emotions be as they are.... Be an Observer. An Observer. Not a changer or a Reactor... Accept what comes and goes.... When one does not fight an emotion, it has no reason to stay. What you fight Persists....
Blessings !
Renuka Gupta, PhD